This week, I am focusing on exercise. 

Let's kick our heart rates up a notch this week. Mountain climbers on the bathroom floor FTW. 

Last week, I came up with a calorie and macronutrient ratio for my specific goals, which is keeping my energy high enough to train up to twice a day, 5-6 days a week, while shedding a little of the fluff I've accumulated this winter.  

This means I can't be balls-deep in the heavy lifting and Jiu-Jitsu at the same time. Sadly, I am mortal. A natty mortal, at that, so I must respect my body's limits and take a break from chasing strength. No more going for PRs, low-rep heavy lifts, or shooting for a 1 rep max. When you are lowering your calories and trying to cut weight, that mindset begets a frustrating exercise in futility. At least, it does for me. 

I've chosen a more bodybuilding-esque lifting program with supersets in the 4x10 range. So it's humble pie for me these next few weeks, as my breath burns in my chest, and I reluctantly move the pins up a few notches from where I'm used to, and grab the 25's, like "I swear I can do more, usually... it's just this 45 seconds rest bullshit, you know?" 

This week is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. I lowered my consumption a bit, now I have to up my activity level and see how it works out for me. I recommend more volume and the lower weight that goes along with it for the next few weeks. 

If you're a beginner:

Assess your calorie situation. How are you feeling? A little discomfort, longing and mild panic is normal. Feeling dizzy, weak and/or "starving" are signs you need to tweak your plan a bit. Maybe this means up your protein, or eat more "satisfying" foods, or perhaps add one more small meal. If you feel okay, keep this budget for another week. 

Now, up the ante by joining a gym, or making sure you are performing an activity at least 3-5 days a week for 10-45 minutes. (Again, it depends on your starting point and what you've chosen to do.) Every step you take towards eating a bit less and moving more is a step in the right direction.

If you are intermediate: 

I'd suggest adding superset-style lifting into your routine, or shortening your rest periods to keep your heart rate up. Pump up the volume a notch in the gym. Start moderately. Remember, I started early to avoid burnout. I am of the mindset that the harder you jump into the deep end, the faster you are going to bounce right the fuck out. It's the same with cutting calories. 

There is no need for cardio acceleration or crazy carb-cycling at this point in the game. Gradual is the key word. Make some initial changes, add some cardio and stick with your calorie budget. 

This week, we have pancakes and turkey bacon for breakfast, a big salad for lunch with peppers, sardines and quinoa, veggies & chicken for dinner, plus all kinds of snacks throughout the day to total approximately 1900 calories: 137g protein, 201g carbs, 57g fat. 

Next week we are going to weigh in and see where we're at!

Do you need a beginners lifting routine?

http://www.ironbeaverfitness.com/articles/2015/12/2/a-simple-beginners-plan

Are you afraid of the weight room and would rather start with machines?

http://www.ironbeaverfitness.com/articles/2015/12/31/basic-beginners-machine-workout

Abs yet or nah? .... nah. 

First thing's first - let's weigh in and see what 3 weeks of cleaning up the diet has done. 

I am now 121.5 pounds and 22% bodyfat, according to my fitbit scale. I've lost 3 pounds and 1% bodyfat. I was 95.5 pounds lean body mass, now I'm 94.5, which means I've lost approximately one pound of muscle and two of fat, for a total of three pounds. 

The muscle loss isn't too shocking, as my weight training has lagged and I am on a caloric deficit. My assessment: So far, so good. I'm going in the right direction. My focus on dialing in my diet is paying off. I've not been perfect every day, but a little bit of housecleaning is all it took to make a change. I still look more or less the same, but the bloat is receding. 

So, I am going to stick to my calorie budget and relative macro split for another week. 

**Note on weighing yourself: Weight can fluctuate by a few pounds depending on how much water you are retaining or whether or not you've taken a shit. Do not take stock in these small fluctuations. Only once you notice the scale staying on a particular number, do you weigh that much. I got 121.5 after weighing myself a few times during last week at different times. It was the same # three times in a row. I don't advocate weighing yourself too often, but when you want to find your true weight, take a few samplings over the course of the week. Not just one, so you can be sure the fluctuation up or down isn't a bit of water retention. **

The Pitfalls of Dieting

Diet is hard, y'all. 

Like, so hard. 

The first week or two it might be fun. You feel energized - PUMPED! - and ready to get your shit together. But then, something always happens, doesn't it? You don't hit the grocery store in time to meal prep, or your schedule gets bumped out of whack. Maybe you catch a cold and crave comfort foods... the point is, something always happens to derail you. 

What separates the people who succeed with the people who don't? The ability to get back on track and try again. Don't think of your diet as this perfect, pristine thing you have to delicately maintain. Think of it as simply maintaining proper fuel for your body. If you indulge, simply eat right the following day. Don't beat yourself up, then call it a failure and quit. Do you know how often I get stressed out and eat my feelings? A lot! I just pull it together the following day and carry on. Over time, this is much healthier than saying oh well, I lost and giving up entirely. 

Something else that you may be feeling is the initial panic of deprivation. It's like as soon as you say "no more cookies in the house!" You suddenly panic and eat the whole bag of cookies because they can't be there the following morning and oh my god this is the last time I can ever eat cookies! Or you'll blow through your macros by 6PM and think, "I'm not allowed any more food...." the psychological impact will make you hungry, even if you're not. 

The best tips I can give when it comes to food are these:

1. Have a bit of protein with each meal. Protein takes longer to digest, helps satiate you and keeps you from being hungry or shaky an hour or two after you eat. 

2. Try to eat satisfying foods. Too many people go for a "light" salad with a spritz of lo-cal dressing and a rice cake because they think that is what healthy is supposed to be. And guess what? They attack the pantry like a lunatic at 10PM. You cannot starve yourself for long. Your body will revolt. Instead, make sure you are filling up on food that actually fills you. Chicken, sweet potatoes and a bit of barbecue sauce will hot the spot over a few berries and a handful of seeds. 

3. Don't go to bed hungry. Have a Greek yogurt before you go to bed. It's okay to feel a little "un-full" here and there for the first week or two, because your body is adjusting. But you shouldn't be struggling and starving. If you are, go back to the drawing board. 

That's about it for this week - no miracles, no magic - just keep going in the right direction. 

So we're almost halfway through (depending on your goals.) How many of us have been perfect and on-point this whole time, with no slip ups? Don't lie. 

That's exactly why I start so early; life happens. The end of winter and beginning of spring is, in my opinion, a bummer of a calendar period. Flus are going around, the schizophrenic weather is wreaking havok on our sinuses, and we have to adjust from eating comfort food in warm places to trying to get "summer ready." It doesn't go smoothly, ever, but you can make positive steps in the right direction. 

Now that the last round of silly chocolate and beer themed holidays are behind us, we have this next stretch of time until summer that is fairly flat and uneventful. Let's use this stretch to take our positive steps further and get serious. Tighten up your diet, and get yourself moving more.

This week, I encourage you to add an activity to your day. Pick something that you feel weak at and work on it - could be ten minutes a day. If you're push is weak, do a few sets of push-ups every morning before breakfast. If you hate legs, begin each workout with a squat set. If you have been ignoring your cardio, add 10 minutes of bike intervals, running stairs, or burpee circuits once a day. For me, I need to add flexibility to my life. In order to become better at jiu jitsu, I need to loosen up -not just a quick stretch before class, but I need to "be" looser in general. So, I called my yogi friend and asked her for a few simple poses I could do in the AM and the PM to open my body up. 

My goal this week is to warm up with a few 2 minute rounds of jump rope in the AM and do these poses for a minute or two, each. In the evening, after class I will run through the poses again. 

These next 6 weeks are where we have to put in real work and focus. Resolve to stick to your diet, don't skip workouts, and add something new to your repertoire. The last few weeks, we were finding our groove - these next few weeks, we've got to work it if we want to see results. 

No excuses - use this stretch of uneventful time wisely and you will be very happy by June. 

Won two, lost one - Got 3rd place!

At First BJJ, we are encouraged to compete early and often. The reasoning behind this mentality is to do a lot of smaller tournaments, so by the time you get to a big tournament, like Worlds or PanAms, you know what to expect and you don't adrenaline dump or panic on the mats. Instead, you can focus on your Jiu Jitsu and not get sidetracked by all the noise. You will already know what is best to eat, when to warm up, where to go, and how to pass the time in between rounds. 

A lot of students jump right in, head first, but I never felt "ready." Last month, my teammate convinced me to go for it. She said, "Trust me, you're ready. We will get a big group together and take all the medals." So, with shaky fingers, I typed in my registration information and booked the hotel. Here goes nothing, I thought, with grand plans to train every day, push the sled at the gym, and work takedowns. 

But things never go according to plan, do they? 

As it turns out, I ended up catching a nasty case of strep throat that lasted for weeks and I needed antibiotics. By the time the tournament came, I was just getting a bit of energy back and had lost some weight, putting me under my weight class entirely. I had literally two days of training the week prior - no sleds had been pushed, no takedowns had been practiced. I was standing there, clueless, in Boise, Idaho, but at least my gi was on straight. 

Lesson One: Why the F*ck didn't I warm up???

Women always get the shit time slots for tournaments. First thing in the morning, and I was the first fight on the mat. Within ten seconds of locking grips with this girl, and going from zero to "Crank: High Voltage" in the wave of a ref's hand, my mouth went dry and my lungs strained nauseatingly. My exploding chest was extremely distracting and I began to curse myself for not warming up beforehand. 

Next time, I'm going for a fifteen minute jog or bike the morning of the tournament. Once my lungs are warmed up, I can hang. High intensity is one thing, trying to keep your coffee in your stomach, while some girl clamps down on her closed guard, is another. 

Lesson TWO: The "White Belt shuffle" is for the birds

The first thing that happens is typically grip-fighting. Men tend to lock grips, release, and lock grips again, in order to set up a double leg or an ankle pick. Women, however - entirely different story. They grip to the death and start jerking you around in a frenetic attempt to get you off balance, or they pull to guard right away. And when you are a white belt, practically no one is confident enough for a flashy takedown. Two people stand as far away from each other as they can, while their arms are locked onto their opponents collar and sleeve, and they wing around, trying shitty Osotogari's here and there.

This lasts entirely too long. I was boring myself - in my own fight - because I had no real practice with takedowns, other than drills. I kept thinking, "Jesus, if I just sorta knew what to do, I could manage something better than wasting my energy stuffing and attempting shitty Osotogari's." Note to self: TAKEDOWN GAME.  

Lesson Three: The Tournament Itself

The first two lessons were minor tweaks to my game, but learning how a tournament works was by far the most important thing I did all weekend. Knowing where to go, what to do, whose hand to shake and how much snacks to bring is really crucial to your performance.  

I was at the tournament all day. There was a five-hour time span between gi and nogi. I didn't take care of myself properly and by the time nogi came along, I was stone-cold, exhausted and had a bad headache. When they said they were going to also put the 140 pounders with us (my class was 120-130, I was 118 with all my clothes on), I decided to opt out. It sucked because I do like nogi, but I like to remain uninjured more. 

Next time, I am going to pay closer attention to the schedule, go back to the hotel to rest if I have to, or fuel myself more efficiently. I am also going back to lesson one and warming back up a half hour before the match. Something to do between is vital as well, be it music, games, a book - something calming to pass the time, so you don't have too long to spend spinning the wheels in your own head and burning yourself out. 

...

All in all, a tournament is a great learning experience, whether you think you are ready or not. The goal at the end of the day should simply be completing a tournament. It doesn't matter if you win or you lose, especially your first time, so go in with your only expectation being to learn what it is like to compete. My very first fight was a loss by points and it didn't kill me, it motivated me to get back to the mat and learn the things I need to win next time. Or maybe the next time after that. 

Forget squat booties, we're going to forge some Iron Beavers. New vlog up on the YouTube channel! 

All you need is a kettlebell and a jump rope. 

Last week I was excited and hopeful. 

Last week I was beginning a new, and very ambitious, lifting plan and planning on training Jiu Jitsu every night in hopes of competing again in June. I was PUMPED. I was ready to slay. Nothing but clear skies in the forecast...

This week, my husband lost his job. His company decided to shutter the studio he'd spent the last three years at. We had just uprooted our family to have this opportunity and now everything we worked for is up in the air again. One of our cars is in the shop and the house is a disaster. The kids are finishing out their school year, so there are a million projects and parties and events lined up, to boot. What we don't know is what kind of employment situation we will have within the next few months, but what we do know is we are downsizing - fast!

Instead of putting 20 pounds on my bench press, I will be cleaning out our rental house, room by room. Instead of crushing leg day at the gym, I'll be selling all my unnecessary things on Craigslist. Instead of competing, I'll probably be moving my family into a smaller apartment, so we can save money and have more wiggle room, should things fall through. 

Shit happens. We have priorities. 

But I decided to do something today. Even though I couldn't go to the gym or roll tonight, I did a circuit that got the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing. All you need is TWO THINGS. Two things for four exercises. SO simple. And it made all the difference:

SIMPLE AFTERNOON QUICKIE CIRCUIT

2 minute : Jump rope warm up

Repeat 3-5x

1 min fast jump rope

20 goblet squats with kettlebell

20 push ups

20 Russian twists (40 count total) 

** You can take a 1 minute break in between rounds, take a sip of water - whatever - OR you can try to power through two rounds before a breather. **

Another one in the books.

I have to be honest, I didn't want to compete. 

Things have been chaotic and stressful with the kids home from school and my husband scrambling for a new job. My finger is probably broken and my knee had been tweaked all week. My allergies are in high gear and not one small, teeny-tiny thing is going my way. Frankly, I'm struggling not to spend my weekends lying under an open box of wine. The last thing I wanted to do was put any pressure on myself to train for competition. 

...And yet, I signed on last minute. Why? Just to get out of the damn house. All I wanted to do was hitch a ride with one of my teammates, pop my headphones on, have a few rolls and be alone. No one needing me, no distractions, just some chokes and chill. It was freeing, I wasn't even nervous when I signed up, like I was the first time. I was paying to have a mom's break day - like when normal b*tches go shopping or get a pedicure. 

So, when my husband surprised me by deciding to volunteer for the tournament and take the whole family with... you could imagine my joy. Instead of having a quiet day to myself, I was going to have to wake up extra early, make sure the kids got up, make everyone breakfast, chase the kids around to get dressed, make sure snacks and provisions are packed, get everyone in the car and drive my damn self, because my husband's foot is busted. I was going to be irritable first thing, and in a completely distracted headspace, fielding requests for snacks, complaints of boredom, grievances of injustice and intermittently wondering in a panic, "...wait, where the hell is Fenris??" 

I almost backed out.

But f*ck that - it's not what Iron Beaver is about, now, is it? So into the fray I went, admittedly half-cocked but less nervous than I was the first time. Although my results were the same in the opposite way (first one, I got 3rd in gi and skipped nogi, this one I got 3rd in nogi and skipped gi) - I did improve from last time and learned some more: 

Third place, nogi.

WHERE I IMPROVED

Last tournament, I said to hell with the white belt shuffle, so this tournament I performed two takedowns on two completely different-sized opponents. Small, but significant when you consider bjj practitioners are sorely lacking on takedown skills. I still have a lot to work on, but I definitely leveled up just by trying.

This time, I was far less nervous leading up to the competition. Last tournament, my hands were shaking when I registered, and for the month leading up to it, I got a wave of nerves every time I so much as thought about it. This time I felt nothing until the night before. The day of, I was just as freaked out as I was the first time, but at least I didn't care until showtime. 

WHERE I NEED TO IMPROVE

For those of you who don't know me, I have panic disorder. My brain has a loose trigger somewhere and fires adrenaline into my body, but not in a cool "Crank" kind of way where you're pumped to jump out of helicopters and bang chicks over a public mailbox.... More like confusion and barf. I throw up during my matches (but swallow it like a boss.) This has got to stop, because it adds to my nervousness when I think, "What if I can't swallow it this time and puke all over the mat in front of everybody?" It is also very distracting to contain my stomach contents while defending against a frenetic opponent or trying to think of my next move. This will probably take a learned combination of scheduling breakfast, warming up, and breath control pre-match. 

Also, I'm terrified of fighting girls. There, I said it. It's weird. It's not about their brute strength (obviously) or that they are tough (which they surprisingly can be!) I roll with heavier, stronger, tougher men every night and I'm okay being piled on, suddenly flipped, pinned to the mat, accidentally kneed in the face or smashed in the nose. I'm scared of girls because I am unskilled, so I don't know my dials and am afraid of hurting someone. They say "Go 100%," but 100% to me is malice. So, where does that intensity line lie? With men, I'm not afraid of hurting them, so I simply match strength as best I can. Plus they move slower, so it's easier to adjust how "rough" you can be. And it's just a roll. In competition, everything is so fast and hyper, that I have to shut off my instinct, because my instincts would get me DQ'd or put me in a stupid position to get submitted. Until I am a calmer blue belt, I feel I have to hold back.

I also don't want them to hate me. I associate fighting with a girl with hate. It's an antiquated high school notion that needs to go.  What I am going to do is roll with women more often. There are open mats once a month and I am making friends at competitions with great girls, so I'm going to take advantage and get over this dumb ingrained fear. 

-----

Obviously the biggest takeaway is to keep training. Do some local competitions. Win. Lose. LEARN. Then, realize none of it matters, because you are already 100 Times as tough as the person sitting on the sidelines saying they could've won gold. And your team still loves the shit out of you. OSS. 

Read about tournament One: 

http://www.ironbeaverfitness.com/articles/2016/4/22/lessons-from-my-first-bjj-tournament

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is one of the most humbling, yet rewarding things I've ever done. It has made me stronger, not just physically - but mentally, too, with an increased ability to hang on through very uncomfortable moments. It has made me more flexible, both in the reach of my muscles and the relaxation in my demeanor, from having to constantly re-evaluate and re-adjust my game plan (and leg elasticity) against someone else's. Somewhere after months of not being sure if I could hack it, I was bitten by the grappling bug and I am addicted. Like, I own 4 gis addicted. I feel weird if I don't go to class, addicted. I go for the underhook at all times, even when I hug grandma, addicted. And I think if you are patient in the beginning, you will be addicted, too. 

Here are my 5 tips to get you through the first months of training: 

1. Don't go every single day.

Sure, you just signed up and you feel resolute that if you're paying $$$ each month, you're damn well going to go every day. Or you just discovered this new cool thing and want to be the next grappling superstar by the end of the year. Either way, you may feel determined to go balls to the wall and really do it. But, I'm here to say don't. Take your balls off the wall, and put them right back in your compression shorts, where they belong. Just like the "New Years Resolutioners" flood the gyms in January and quit before March, you, too, will exhaust your body and fizzle out. Go two to three times a week at first. Get used to the structure of class, the soreness of moving new muscles and the constant aches and confusion that come with your first few months of bjj. It's not a sprint to black belt, its a marathon. (Hell, it's a marathon to blue belt, but I digress.) Pace yourself.

2. Don't plan to understand it for awhile.

Wouldn't it be cool if we lived in the Matrix and we could download every slick move, then pull away from our head jack and smugly say "I know jiu jitsu"? Well, we don't, and we can't. Try as we might to listen intently, or drill a move with ultimate precision, we still don't always get it in a practical manner, right off the bat. It's like trying to take on a whole semester of Physics in an hour and a half, then deftly demonstrating it with your body, while people hit you with giant foam sticks and choke you. All you can do is try your best to think about the steps, feel them with your body and wait for a few months, when such movements finally make sense and become available to you. And I promise, they will. 

3, Check your ego at the door

This notion builds on 1 and 2, but adds one more nuance - it's okay to lose. Something hurts, you tap. You get flipped and choked, you tap. If you're having an anxiety attack, you tap. Oftentimes, fresh white belts are so scared of losing, they lock up, grip their opponent to death, and waste all their oxygen in panic mode. They flail and fight like someone just jumped them in the alley. This doesn't get you anywhere. If you don't know what to do, tell your partner and ask for help. Most upper belts have learned how to handle this and are happy to flow roll or help you drill, rather than get scratched up or kicked in the head by a petrified noob. The good news is you will learn one day, but until then, just take the armbars and the chokes. You're not supposed to win, yet, and you actually learn a lot by losing.

4. There will be blood

...And bruises, and scratches, and mat burn. Your family will be concerned for your health and safety. They may suspect your significant other of abuse or wonder if you're getting your lunch money stolen by bullies. The good news is a lot of these minor contusions and injuries lessen over time, and the ones that don't? You get used to them. Have an ice pack at home, as well as a heat pack. Buy a jar of Tiger Balm or a tube of IcyHot. Make sure you have some Ibuprofen. Band Aids can be helpful for some cuts, but they usually fly off with the first wick of sweat during practice. Get athletic tape instead. Not only does it wrap wounds well, it bolsters your fingers as they get used to gripping collars and sleeves. It's necessary and versatile. One last tip - shower immediately after class and clean out all your wounds. Wash your gear after every use. Neosporin and Hydrogen Peroxide are your friends. No one wants staph or some other creepy bacterial infection. Most gyms are clean, but I don't recommend taking chances with exposed abrasions. 

5. Give the gym vibe a chance

Some academies are very open and friendly from day one (I'd like to think mine is one of them), but some may feel a little clique-ish to the newcomer. Relax and give it some time. With white belts, there is a high turnover. I can't count the amount of girls who have walked in, I got way excited about, they said they were totally coming back, but never did. It makes the umpteenth experience a little more subdued. Also, jiu jitsu is intimate and based on trust. If you don't trust your partner, you could get hurt. Most of the people in there know each other well, know each other's style and game and have a good rapport. It's not usually that anyone sees you as a waste of time, just that they don't know you yet and you could be gone tomorrow. After a while, you should be stretching and chit chatting with the crew before and after class. If this is not the case, and no one has even bothered to acknowledge you after a few weeks, or you feel they're rough and uninviting, look for another gym. 

Just as you wouldn't helicopter drop into your first ski lesson, or dive into the deep end of the pool before you've learned to doggy paddle, do not think you are going to go in 110% to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and dominate. This sport has a way of chewing people up and spitting them out if they think it's going to be easy. There are a lot of barstool UFC fighters out there who plunk their money down with daydreams of fucking everyone up at the dojo and being discovered as the next phenom, then have to find out the hard way they can't even hang through the first three minutes of warm up. They go back to their barstools and "wouldda, couldda, shouldda" to their friends (who are no doubt rolling their eyes.) Don't be that guy/girl. Be humble, and be persistent, and Jiu Jitsu will start to open up to you. Take it in slowly, at first, and you will be rewarded. Let me know when you're addicted. 

A lot of people get into the fitness world for a hot minute and drop out because they failed to remain "motivated." I cannot even count the number of times I was asked "What's your secret to motivation?" 

The secret is.... I'm not always motivated. In fact, I'm unmotivated often. I have an anxiety disorder that causes sudden drops in my will to even get up off the floor, let alone the usual shit in my way like responsibilities, scheduling conflicts, headaches and just being plain tired. So how have I not only kept myself going for a few years, but leveled up my game? Discipline. 

In the beginning, my motivation was a transformation contest. But once that went away, it was up to me to remain consistent for myself, and nothing else. I did not have the eye of the tiger every day, but I did use these simple rules to keep me going: 

SKIP A DAY, MAKE IT UP

Some times you just can't even. It happens, but if you skip the gym on Tuesday, make it up Wednesday, even if it means doing a double. Trust me. As soon as you start skipping workouts, your subconscious sees it as no big deal and the next thing you know two workouts are skipped, then ten, then you've spent the entire month fucking off and the prospect of starting back at square one is so daunting, you don't come back until January, when the thought of swimsuit season has you wanting to punch yourself. Workouts don't accumulate like random change plunked into a piggy bank. They only work over time if you're serious about your investment. So think of it as a job, not a chore, until it is habitual.

GET ALL YOUR REPS IN

There are days, especially when you are increasing your workload, where your body fails a little earlier than you had hoped or you get tired and want to quit. What I've always done, is took a quick extra minute rest, then got back and finished the reps in my set. Taking a small break and putting in the extra work will get you farther than moving on to the next exercise because you feel tired. You will not see strength or muscle gains with that attitude. You don't have to push it to the max every day, but you really should push a little out of your comfort zone as often as you can. It is challenging, but when you come back to it the next time, and you can lift more or go further - boom! Motivation. And it's real motivation, the kind that comes from within, not an external trinket. 

BE FLEXIBLE

This one is very important to me. Oftentimes I want to do my workout as prescribed. But, shit happens and the routine gets thrown out the window. Kids get sick and you can't get to the gym, or you have to work late, there's some event you have to prep for or maybe you do get to the gym but all the equipment you need is being used. What I really wanted to do most of the time is declare, "Well, that's that. Guess I'm just going to stream The Mindy Project and eat peanut butter at home in bed...." But what I did was change my gym time, do different exercises, and have dumbbells at home for emergencies. When things don't go your way, the immediate response is to quit in frustration. But this also leads to a bunch of missed workouts and never getting back on track. My rule was if I wasn't sick, I was doing something else at a different time. 

If you keep to these rules, you will remain disciplined, and that will carry you a lot farther than a fleeting burst of motivation ever will. 

There are always other ways to get motivated, like joining online challenges, or training for a small event like a 5k or a novice powerlifting meet. But when there isn't a carrot dangling in front of your face, it's about just putting your shoes on and doing work. Getting out the door to the gym or a class is really 80% of the battle. Put your workout clothes right next to the bed, or pack them in your work bag and make it a lifestyle habit, not a chore to endure for a prize. 

Almost one year ago, on August 14th, I went to my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class, and I've never looked back. 

It's hard to even know where to begin, because my first day seems like a lifetime ago and the amount of growth and change I've experienced since then is huge. I was 36 years old, a mom of three, and my cardio was abysmal. I stepped into the academy a scant 117 pounds, one of only three girls total, and without one minuscule clue of what the hell I was doing. Everyone was 30 to 60 pounds heavier than me, ten years younger and hardcore. 

At first, I was turned around, backwards and upside down. I did not grasp the simplest of concepts and I felt like I was wasting everyone's time with my inability to learn quickly and unsteady attempts at basic movements.  I cannot tell you how many times in those first few months, I'd come home covered in bruises, saying to my husband, "Nope. This is not for me. I'm going back to the gym where I'm safe and I know what I'm doing...." But every time I said I wasn't going back, or that I sucked, I'd put on my gi anyway and go back to class.... "one more time, just to see...." 

I said "sorry" so much that my teammate told me, "every time you say I'm sorry from now on, I'm going to choke you out." 

I don't know when it happened, but I eventually gained my sea legs. I got positions. I was applying legitimate maneuvers during sparring. I wasn't getting hurt anymore (though I still get amazing bruises!) I was closing my eyes and feeling my opponents movements and countering appropriately more and more often. BJJ got it's hooks in and I have been addicted ever since. I've fallen in love with the art, with my professors and teammates and I've made great friends. It's life, now. 

How I've grown this year

- I can make it through warm up and crazy cardio days!

- I can spar for 6 six minute rounds back to back! (or so far...) 

- I get the drills and rarely fuck them up too much! (unless they are a totally new concept)

- I can pin dudes down for longer and longer!

- My open guard has gotten remarkably better and I can be a pain in the ass with it!

- I don't get submitted as often anymore! (meaning only a few times in an entire night)

- I worked on position, pressure, posture and protection this summer and it really paid off! I may not be an attack dog, but my base and smash is getting damn good for a smurf! 

- I competed twice!

- I can watch matches and understand what is going on! (when I started I didn't even know wtf "guard" was.)  

What I want to improve next year

- Sweeps and escapes! I chose the position before submission route. My primary focus is my control and my protection, not fancy chokes and attacks. Now that I feel more comfortable with my chosen guard and with my top control, I need to know how to turn someone else's advantage around. 

- Competitions! I definitely want to compete again and maybe more often next year. My problem is I barf in my mouth while I'm fighting due to nerves, and that is really distracting. I'd like to see that problem go away and maybe turn these bronze medals into gold. 

- Be more aggressive! I still tend to hesitate and counter with most opponents. While this has helped me improve my bottom game, it also ends up getting me in bad positions, eventually. I don't feel comfortable attacking, but I have to get over it. How else will I know where I stand? 

I'll save finessing my attacks for later, maybe when I'm a blue belt. 

Starting Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was the best decision I've made in a long time and it is something I can continue doing for years and years. I'm really excited to see myself and my teammates grow. I plan to go all the way to black belt, even if it takes 20 years. If you are on the fence, or think it might be too much for an older person, or a woman - it is most definitely not! Try it and by this time next year, you, too, will be way more awesome. Cheers!

When I was younger, I thought a midlife crisis was when old men bought shiny new cars to look cool in front of young ladies and old women took salsa lessons with swarthy-skinned men in tight pants to "spice things up." When I was in my early 20's I thought it was an immature excuse people used for cheating and shirking their responsibilities. I'm so fucking above that shit, I'm going to age gracefully and be amazing for the rest of my life. I'm never going to be like those people who get plastic surgery and waste money on fast cars and act like they're teenagers when they're (gasp) 40. How common. How pathetic. 

And here I am, in my late 30's, wanting an eyelid lift and a tit job and maybe to to jump off a fucking cliff, here to tell you I was wrong. 

This midlife crisis shit is no fucking joke. 

My husband's studio closed in April. For the second time in less than three years, we were left flung to the wind, without a safety net. The first time it happened, I felt strong and determined. I packed up our old house, sold it and we moved all the way from Chicago to Utah. It was a difficult time, but in the end a great thing for our quality of life. Now, it hit me all over again, but this time Utah was home. I was in love. In love with the mountains, with jiu jitsu, with my burgeoning independence and my growing circle of friends. But there wasn't steady work in Utah at that moment. I was heartbroken, pleading anything to stay, I'll get a job at Costco, you can do freelance, we'll move into a tiny cheap apartment... To which, my husband said, "Well, it looks like San Diego or Seattle are good bets."

It was in that moment I realized how much I gave up in small concessions over the years until saying, "no, I'm not moving from my home" turned out not to be my equal say on the matter, but became an outright act of rebellion. 

For over 12 years, I have been sans an outside life, gestating babies, nursing babies, raising babies and running all aspects of my household. I've been cooking, cleaning, bill-paying, scheduling, care-taking, moderating, ass-wiping, puke-mopping, and being the general go-to beacon for all the information and catchall tasks that pertain to my family. But I have had no career, no real stake in my own life - I'm subject to the whims and duties of family, the states my husband can find work, and the stages of my children's' development. This is nothing to judge. It is what it is, both good and bad. I chose to be a wife and a stay at home mother. I love my husband and family more than myself. But it still fucking stings to come face to face with what I sacrificed, especially in times of consequence. 

In the end, his studio was bought by another large entertainment company and we're safe, financially. But the fact remains, my heart was cracked open and the blood is spilling out everywhere, whether I like it or not. 

A midlife crisis isn't some vain attempt at being young. A midlife crisis is knowing you have no time left to fuck off, take a chance or be great. This is it. You need to live NOW, but you are not free to indulge. So your soul pounds at your chest like a battering ram and you try to hold it in and be quiet and still until it stops pounding. Please stop pounding. 

This isn't something a book club or ladies night can even touch. This isn't a glass of wine and a nice, long vent about mom stuff. This is I need to get lost, I need to climb a mountain, fling myself over the edge, find my voice, create, get dirty, fight, fuck, have long drunk conversations about politics and philosophy, look up at a sky full of stars and feel like a mote in the abyss or the conductor of a grand symphony of atoms and possibilities. I need to remember - or rediscover - who the fuck I even am anymore. What fulfills me? I miss paint, and astrophysics, and the ability to just go where my gut takes me, not where we all can compromise on, and stay there until I'm fucking done, not when everyone else wants to leave. 

As it is, I cannot take a shit in the morning without clearance from four other people. I can't move about without attending to everyone's needs, first. I can't "just go" anywhere. I can't "just do" anything. I certainly couldn't look up at stars without perpetual interruptions of "I'm bored" "did we bring snacks?" or "Can we go? I'm hot/cold/getting bitten by mosquitoes." As I'm writing this piece, I have a 5 year old crying his eyes out about a video game and tugging at me. There is never a moment I am alone or completely unattached from the incessant interruptions of responsibility; not when I pee, not when I have sex, not when I want to work, not when I try to unwind. It's always there, in the background, like when you're at a party but your husband keeps flashing you the time on his watch, to say goodnight and get the kids home because they are starting to act shitty. The clock is ticking away, always. The stagecoach is perpetually one minute from becoming a pumpkin again. It's a state of anxiety all unto itself. 

It sounds selfish, I know. Like, hey I want to run around and be fucking twenty again - here, dear, you hold the bag while I go navel gaze and "find myself." But that's not where it's coming from. It's coming from a fear that I am one doctors appointment away from my stage 4 diagnosis and all I can say is, "I yelled a lot and made a bunch of sandwiches nobody ate." I just want to feel the wind in my hair one last time before I die or grow so old that I'm not able-bodied enough to appreciate it. 

It sounds superficial, I know that, too. Like, I just want to be sexy and free and silly things, like fake boobs, tattoos, going to a nude beach or getting high with a bunch of wannabe poets will fulfill me somehow. But that's not what I'm talking about, either. I just wish my body would stop growing old until after my kids are grown up and I can get the fuck out of this cage. But time marches on, with nary a shit to give about how much of it I have left. 

I can't even explain this. It's like I want to fling myself over the edge and totally self destruct - or stick the landing and be fucking brilliant. 

That's not even a metaphor. 

I was at the aquarium the other week, looking over the second-floor balcony at a giant whale sculpture hanging from the ceiling. I was gazing at it's fin, approximately twenty or so feet from the railing and maybe ten feet below. Suddenly, my pelvis started tingling and butterflies rose in my gut, as if I was going to make the attempt to leap onto it. Only not just as if - I felt like I might actually jump. I had to get the fuck away from the ledge, I was going to jump - it was visceral. 

My husband is a good man. He could probably use a break, too. He doesn't deserve me going off the rails. My kids are my whole heart, they need a mom who is present. I was supposed to be that mom, the one they could come to. The one with the great life advice and patience. I want to be good for them, but, I can't move. I feel so guilty for having such a short fuse, though I can't even help it. 

This is like when you're in extreme pain and you just need everyone to shut up and be quiet so you can persist, silently, in one spot. Just. Nobody. Move.

My family didn't sign up for a wife and mother who falls apart. I didn't sign up to lay my whole life's direction, autonomy and ambitions down, either. What do I do? I don't fucking know. I'm not Elizabeth Gilbert and I can't go Eat, Pray, Love around the world on someone else's dime. I really have nowhere to go and nothing to do and no god to find. So, I'll wait, I guess. Wait for the pounding to pass, and for time to cool my jets. Isn't that what most of us choose, in the end? In the meantime, I'll keep doing this little Iron Beaver thing and lift and train and try my best to be good and patient and true for the people I love the most.

And I'll take you assholes with me, if you want to keep following. 

No. It's fucking not and if you are sensitive about people trying to put you down because you're ripped, athletic and hot, you really need to get a grip. I think "Fit Shaming" is like white people talking about "reverse racism" when someone says "cracker ass cracker!"

Let me explain....

it's so rough being able to lift grown ass men off the ground AND wear a bikini, guys. 

Having a fit body is revered in society. Having a fat body is shamed. Having a fit body gives you confidence at the beach. Having a fat body makes you want to hide. Having a fit body gives you health benefits. Having a fat body gives you unhealthy symptoms (to say the least.) Having a fit body affords you the privilege of being perceived as attractive, focused, able, hygienic, energetic and happy. So you get the job, land the promotion, get the loan, the house, the girl/guy, etc. Having a fat body gives you the disadvantage to be perceived as lazy, unkempt, unhygienic, unattractive, slow and unhappy. You may be passed over for the job, promotion, loan, what have you. We are so image-oriented that good-looking people enjoy many benefits, consciously or sub-consciously. 

So, from my perspective, "fit shaming" is pointless and claiming it is an actual thing is insulting to the millions of Americans struggling with obesity and societal standards. While it technically may happen, as is the case with the recent Twitter uproar over Chad Johnson's crossfit chick bullshit, there is NO SHAME in being fit. What the fuck can you say to me that's going to hurt my feelings? You're obsessed? Yeah, I love it. Meal prep is too regimented? I work a few hours on Sunday so I don't have to cook during the week. Frees up a lot of my time. You lift too heavy? Go big or go home, sucka. Your muscles are too big for a girl? Hoe, I can catch a dick like that - snap! (By dick, I of course only mean my husbands dick 4-eva, but ya'll know what I'm talking about.) Don't train so hard? I can murder you with your shirt collar. Being so lean is gross? Ok, you got me on this one because I like to eat too much to get super lean. But if I was that lean, I'd say yeah, because my ripped up abs are so hard to show off in the summer. All that bathing suit and short short anxiety that I never feel... it's rough. 

I'm too big for you? Nah, trick - you're too small for me. 

Fit people are generally glorified in society, seen as inspiration, and admired, sometimes for nothing more than their appearance, not achievements or greatness. Fat people can be fucking amazing and people are still going to comment on their need to lose a few pounds. There are no TV shows pitting "too fit" people against one another to gain weight and lose their six packs. So, please, fit folks, don't you dare boo hoo.

Fat shaming is a thing because it sucks to be obese, plagued by physical problems and society's judgmental glare. Fit shaming is not a thing because it's an amazing and empowering thing, to be fit. 

Are some people not going to understand you? Yes. Are some people going to not be attracted to you? Yes. Are some people going to try and bounce their insecurities off you? Absolutely. Everyone does this shit all the time. You don't understand other people's proclivities, you aren't physically attracted to everyone, you sometimes cut down other people's way of doing things to bolster your own way. Don't lie. I'd like to live in a world where no one is judged by their appearance, but by the content of their character, but that day doesn't exist yet. The best defense for shaming of any kind is to love your damn self and decide your own value. 

You were "fit-shamed"? Big deal. Go cry into your protein shake, while scrolling through your thousands of likes on your sexy instagram selfies. Let's keep our spines as strong as our muscles, okay?

Deloading is when you intentionally back off the intensity of your program so that your body can fully recharge and heal every so often. Traditionally, a deload week is taken every fourth week of a strength cycle, so you ramp up intensity for three weeks, until you are at peak performance, then drop off and recuperate before starting all over again. 

When people deload, they Typically do one of three things:

1. Relax and avoid the gym, or fill time with active rest.

2. Reduce the intensity to 40%-60% of their max, using light power reps and/or forgoing accessories.

3. Going in a different direction. Powerlifters may go for high reps, Bodybuilders might go for less volume, or it may be a week of cardio training instead of weights. 

There are two types of people on fitness forums who will say a deload is a waste of time or that overtraining is a myth: people on steroids and people who say deloading is bullshit, but then actually end up advocating for a deload, just not a specifically programmed or scheduled deload. 

The fact is, as you stress your body with exercise and resistance, it gets stronger by way of damage. That's right, your muscles literally tear apart and the re-building period is what makes them bigger and stronger. Not only do your muscles rip and repair, but your joints and ligaments can inflame and your CNS (central nervous system) gets taxed when you push your current limits. I don't care if you are 15 or 95 - this stress and damage adds up. Plus, you are subject to the other stresses of life: work, money, relationships, the common cold, etc. No one exists in a gym vacuum. But wouldn't it be cool if we could?

A deload is very helpful with giving your body a break to heal those little, nagging injuries and it keeps you from getting completely exhausted and hitting the skids. Deloading always helps me to repair after maxing out and it revitalizes my body to be able to get back at it, stronger than ever. 

Who should deload? Anyone who trains to maximum effort or is at a point where they feel weak and exhausted. A scheduled deload isn't necessary, but I always take one after maxing out or competing. I have learned that even if I feel great on Monday after peak week or a tournament, I quickly lose steam before the week is up. So, I just chill out, regardless of my mood. Right now I'm on a Wendler 531 program, which is three weeks of building up to maximum AMRAPs and taking a fourth week to deload. If I want to compete in jiu jitsu tournaments, I will change my training to suit that goal and deload the week post-competition. 

My deloading schedule looks like light, quick power moves in the gym, drilling without sparring, or more often, housework and all the little business I had been neglecting while I was focused on my training. I eat what my body is craving and take a little time to de-stress in general about everything. Unless you are a professional athlete, you have to be realistic about balancing your personal life with your fitness and sport goals. 

Helen top center, Miyo bottom, left. 

Meet Helen Litovsky and Miyo Strong, two Utah women who won gold and silver this year in the Women's Blue Belt division at the IBJJF World Masters tournament in Las Vegas. 

I am so inspired by these rad jiujiteiras. Not only do I have the absolute pleasure of knowing them in real life and have the opportunity to roll with them, but I've gotten to watch them prepare for this tournament. Helen is my teammate and Miyo is from another local gym. These women are both hard-working mothers of two, and an incredible example of what you can achieve if you believe you can and put the hard work in to get there. 

First of all, Tell us a little about yourselves outside of the gym. What do you do besides jiu jitsu? and what brought you in the doors to train for the first time? 

Helen: I was never considered an athletic kid, teenager or adult.  My husband thought BJJ was the best sport for a young girl, so when our first daughter turned 4, I started taking her to classes. A month later I wanted to try. I was 35 when I first stepped on the mat.

Miyo: There are so many things outside of the gym that fill my life.  I have 2 amazing daughters that are continually keeping me on my toes.  My husband Bryan and I are constantly searching for better ways to parent and balance family, work and raise strong, independent, loving children.  I also train at Gym Jones, trail run, practice yoga, travel, volunteer in schools, teach self defense and eat.  Yup, eat.  Our family is made up of very adventurous eaters and we are constantly experimenting with new recipes, new restaurants and new food experiences.  I have an amazing core group of friends from all walks of life that support me through thick and thin.  I have my Master’s in Photography and have been in the field for over 20 years.  I left a very toxic work environment about 2 years ago and have been running a small business ever since.  My career is actually what brought me back to the mats after decades of being gone.  I partnered with my Professor, Rob Handley, on some photography projects for his gym and obviously had to come back to train!  I missed it so much.  And I missed having/making time for myself. 

How long have you been training?

Helen: I guess I started my jiu jitsu jorney as a master 2. It has been 3 years total. But I truly progressed after started training under First Bjj Carlson Gracie in July 2014.

Miyo: My training story is a little strange.  I started jiu jitsu back in the late 90’s at Pedro Sauer’s gym but quit shortly after receiving my blue belt.  I got married, finished school and had 3 children with a busy career so finding time to come back and make jits a priority didn’t happen until my youngest was preschool age.  I had reconnected with Rob Handley (the owner of Absolute MMA) whom I knew from my early days on the mat.  I started training at Absolute off and on a few years ago but didn’t commit to making it a priority until 2014. 

Tell me about your first competition. 

Helen: My first competition experience was not pleasant. There was too much stress, no mental preparation, poor performance, and no team support. I got hip thrown and submitted by kimura and arm bar by a younger female blue belt. I was still a white belt at the time. I felt terrible, unsure of what I was doing and found myself questioning all of my decisions. My husband has always been my biggest supporter and fan. We always travel together, discussing my mistakes, my weaknesses and strengths. On our way home, he pointed out how important it was for me to master takedowns. I was re-energized to compete again and decided to switch schools. 

Miyo:  I decided to compete in the IBJJF Spring Open 2014 and nothing narrows your focus like setting a big scary goal.  I was terrified and that really helped motivate me.  2 years later and MANY competitions later, I am still terrified but my motivation mainly comes from other sources, thank goodness.

Since then, what has your competition history been like? Did you love it right away, or was competing something you had to learn to love? 

Helen: Since I started training under Carlos Santos and Suyan Queiroz, I focused on basics and drilled a lot. My first NAGA competition was less than 2 months since I had joined the school. When I informed them about my intention to compete, I remember asking them to coach me and Suyan said, "you have not been training long enough under us to rely on what we teach but go and try, we will be there coaching you." It meant a lot to me. I still remember the voice of professor Suyan, "Helen, release your head, calm down, just release your head."  I won 3 matches out of 4. I made lots of mistakes even in the matches I won. My strongest competitor was and still is Amy Campo. She outscored me and her Jiu jitsu was so much better then mine. She still remains a challenge for me. 

Since then, I've competed at NAGA three times. I started IBJJF competitions in March 2015. Pan American was my first huge tournament and I lost my first match, but learned from my mistakes. I did much better at American Nationals in Las Vegas, where I won gold in Gi, No Gi, and Absolute No Gi.

My first Worlds Masters tournament was my easiest tournament, I felt prepared and got my victory fast. I had so much energy left over, that we drove home in time for me to compete in NAGA the next day in Utah. I won Absolute in No Gi to an opponent 40 pounds heavier than me, and lost my Gi match to Amy Campo. 

I have learned important lessons, like how to control my anxiety and developing certain routines that give me the proper sleep, food and rest time. Sometimes matches are scheduled later in the day and you want to be able to keep your physical and mental energy up for a good performance. Conserving energy is crucial.  Competing really helps me to learn where I am weak and get confidence in my technique. 

Miyo: I am by nature a very competitive person.  I played every sport imaginable in high school and passed up a partial college scholarship for soccer.  But they were all team sports essentially, even in track my event was the relay.  There is something about competing in jiu jitsu that feels more vulnerable than team sports.  It’s a love/hate relationship.  For myself, competing is a great way to measure personal progress and nothing exposes your weaknesses like competing… I compete several times a year at all different levels from the biggest stages like Pan Am’s and Masters Worlds to local tourneys.  Competing  has taken on new meaning and pressure for 2016-17 as I have been sponsored for all tournaments.  Companies help pay for my training, travel, coaching and nutrition and that adds a pressure that has turned out to be helpful and motivating.  Knowing that strangers(all of them I consider friends now) believe in me, my message and my goals is still a tad unbelievable and my gratitude for them is HUGE.  

How did you adapt your training for World Masters? 

Helen: This year I set a goal to win worlds again. I trained 5-6 times every week. It was a challenge since I had broken nose and shoulder injury that took a long time to heal up. But determination and vision of the end goal kept me on track. I even gave up hiking on some weekends to train more. Professor Carlos told me, "Go get your gold!!!" And I did. I had been mentally preparing myself, it is mine, I just have some obstacles and I can overcome them. 

Miyo: I competed at Pan Ams in the Feather weight class and realized that most of the girls were dropping to that class, not walking around at that weight as I did.  I felt much shorter/smaller (and way older) than those competitors and that showed in our matches.  So, when I decided to do another huge tournament dropping a weight class became a priority.  My coaches all believed and encouraged me to fight at Light Feather for Worlds.  We adapted my training to include a lot of running, no more lifting and I was in Ketosis (fat adapted) for my nutrition.  Keto is a high fat, extremely low carb way of eating.  Earlier in the year I had damaged my PCL (supportive ligament in the knee) so we had to change my jiu jitsu routine as well.  Things like spider guard were much more painful than running due to where my injury was.  I didn’t actually get to roll hard until my first match at Worlds.  I didn’t feel comfortable training full out due to the pain and also the risk of injuring it further so Professor Rob and I drilled a lot and rolled lightly.  I also chose my partners very carefully while doing open mat.  No big, strong, male, white belts for me, HA!  

What aspect of your training helped you the most in your fights?

Helen: I train with guys every day, some of them much stronger and heavier then me. So I have to be faster and have better technique to be able to dominate. I learned how to pace myself, and save energy until I am ready to make a move.

Miyo: Dropping a weight class was huge.  I felt strong and quick and equal to the other women in my division.  Also, the tournament is so big there were age divisions in 5 year increments which I had never been exposed to.  But overall, the training that helped me the most was the private lessons Professor Rob and I had.  His knowledge of jiu jitsu is seemingly endless and he specifically worked with me on my weaknesses and designed drills and rolling rounds based on what I would likely see on the competition mat.  

I think it is so cool to have more local women tearing up the scene and making Utah Jiu Jitsu a girls club as well as a boys club. How do you envision the future of the sport for women in the Valley? 

Helen: I enjoy meeting and rolling with other ladies. I  love the concept of empowered women. I always want to help women shake the mentality of being victims. Society makes it easy to feel safe being a victim. I encourage all females regardless of their age to try and learn BJJ as self-defense. It's a great tool to maintain and build strength and confidence, plus you get an amazing circle of support and motivation to move forward and discover and explore.

Miyo: It has definitely become a more popular sport for females!  We have a Women’s Only Open Mat that happens monthly where all females from all schools can get together and support each other and train together.  I have loved getting to know the ladies from all over the state and getting to roll at all the different gyms.  My hope is that the group continues to grow and evolve.  I am working on details for hosting seminars for ladies only and bringing in some of the top female black belts in the country such as Leticia Rieberio, MacKensie Dern, Angelica Galvao, Karen Attunes, Kristina Barlaan, Pati Fontes etc…  Being exposed to the top women in our sport would be amazing.  How do they do it all? 

And finally, what's next for you?

Helen:  I am ready to challenge myself more. I find myself always wanting to challenge my biggest fears. But in everyday life, I take it one step at a time. Train,  eat, sleep, repeat!

Miyo: Carpool and work and back to the mats!  My husband is training for a StrongMan competition and I can’t wait to help support him in that.  He did a lot to help make my preparation for World’s possible and I am excited to repay the favor.  My sights are set on Pan Am’s in March 2017.  Can’t wait!

Helen Litovsky trains at First BJJ Carlson Gracie Academy in Murray, UT and owns Zen Massage just a few doors down. 

Miyo Strong can be found at Absolute MMA and Gym Jones in Salt Lake City UT, or on instagram @utahjitsmama.

WHAT HAPPENED?

This week, reports have surfaced that the Sugar Research Foundation (aka "Big Sugar")  paid off Harvard scientists in the 60's to skew heart disease research findings away from sweets and more towards fats. These findings had been used for decades to inform public policy on food and create dietary guidelines. 

As a result, the general public had gone down a rabbit hole of trying to eliminate fat from their diet, but meanwhile did little to curb their sweet tooth. In fact, sugars were often added to newly faddish "low-fat" foods to mask the bland taste. Doctors promoted low fat diets that, as it turns out, aren't so healthy after all. We became a nation of "lite" low-fat carb munchers with equally as poor health outcomes. 

I AM OUTRAGED!!! OUTRAGED, I SAY!!!

Many people's instant reactions to this news is that we can no longer trust any dietary science, or every conspiracy theory of food production is all true. Every sector of agriculture and government is out to get us and all we can ever do now is grow heirloom organic produce in our own pesticide-free soil and raise chickens in our backyard. Otherwise, it's all tainted. Everyone is trying to make us sick so that Big Pharma can medicate us for the rest of our lives!!!

Okay, here's a paper bag. Take a few deep huffs and come back to me. 

Scientists aren't out to get you, though corporate greed is capable of some shady shit. This kind of using funds to bribe outcomes is unethical. Although funding policy has changed since the 60's, it is worth noting that science is greatly underfunded and undervalued in this country, which can lead to the cherry picking of studies that get funded and the conclusions the public draws from these studies once they are. 

These particular scientists didn't make studies up or fake data (according to the article) but they did downplay sugar's link to heart disease by not accepting as many undesirable results into their evidence pool, and accepting more of the studies that linked fat to heart disease. In other words, they unfairly weighed the evidence. 

As far as the scientific end is concerned, we need to understand the flaws in studies but not throw he baby out with the bathwater. Scientific consensus is reached by growing bodies of evidence and replicated studies, meaning there should be multiple sources showing similar results. One study that links X to Y is not impressive, however, hundreds of studies across the board that link X to Y is. And then, we are still left to figure out what that link is and how it works. What these scientists did doesn't mean all the evidence that came before or since is somehow invalid. 

Dietary guidelines have changed a lot since we were encouraged to eliminate fat. The American Dietetic Association and other policy-making groups do not suggest eschewing fats anymore, rather they say we should be eating less saturated fats and little to no trans fats, but "healthy" fats like mono- and poly-unsaturated fats are a go. They are working on deepening scientific evidence of fat's link to heart disease. Their position on sugar is that ADDED sugars should be consumed sparingly. 

So, even though this may be startling to some people, trust that scientists, the government and dietitians are way past this bullshit. Most doctors are, too. 

YEAH BECAUSE NOW IT'S ALL ABOUT FAT!!!

Put down the butter, and calm the fuck down. This kind of pendulum attitude will get you in trouble when the fat fad is dead and some new superfood is in.

Did you not learn anything form the food trends of decades past? THIS STUDY SAYS NO EGGS! THAT STUDY SAYS EGGS ALL DAY! THIS STUDY SAYS LOW FAT! THAT STUDY SAYS WHALE BLUBBER WILL MAKE YOU IMMORTAL! THIS STUDY SAYS NO CARBS! THAT STUDY SAYS DOUGHNUTS AFTER DEADLIFTS! 

First of all, stop thinking there is some manna from heaven or ancient diet plan direct from the garden of Eden that will turn your body into a specimen of perfect health. It doesn't exist. Sorry, I know. But the truth will set you free. 

There IS STILL a link between excess cholesterol and heart disease. Growing consensus though, is steering away from blaming all fats (which are a necessary and vital part of your diet) and towards high amounts of specific fats, trans and saturated, as being unhealthy. Point being, eat some fatty steak and bacon sometimes, but don't make saturated fat your primary fat source.

There IS STILL a link between excess sugar and heart disease. Consensus says eating a doughnut here and there and fitting glucose into an active lifestyle isn't so bad as sitting on your ass and guzzling sugar-laden beverages. Point being, eat fruit, (and sometimes dessert!) but avoid dumping sugar on everything you eat or pouring it into everything you drink.

It's not so much about the food, it seems, but the excess intake and obesity. 

SO, WHAT DOES THE IRON BEAVER THINK ABOUT ALL THIS?

In my opinion, the best dietary advice comes from the American Dietetic Association, because they amass the most evidence and play it conservatively. You may hear a bunch of one-off studies, or one thing from some guy in India who says this or that... but again, these studies aren't that impressive until more evidence across the board reaches the same conclusion or deepens the mystery of a simple "link."

As for what I eat, I know that protein helps build and retain muscle, so I make sure to get about a gram of it per pound of bodyweight a day. I do this because I lift and my goal is building and retaining muscle. I use canola and olive oils to cook, as well as eat avocados and nuts. I don't eat all those things every day, but those are the sources where most of my fat comes from. I also know that plant-based foods are good for fiber intake and lowering cholesterol (as well as phytonutrients,) so I try to get plenty of carbs from vegetables and whole grains. Lately, because I've been on a strength campaign, I've eaten a fair amount of pasta, too. I try to fit all these foods into a calorie count in accordance with my activity level and goals (1800-1900 lean, 1900-2000 maintain, 2100-2200 bulk.) That's about it. 

Oh yeah, and sometimes I eat baggies of cheeze-its until I hate myself. Or giant bacon burgers with a basket of french fries. Or waaaaay too much chocolate. Or sip alcoholic drinks until I feel like shit the next morning. Because, I'm human and what the fuck, right?

But you know what part of my diet is the most important? The part where I go to my doctor every year for a physical and have my lipid panel and blood sugar tested, as well as my liver and kidney function, blood pressure and heart rate. This shows me exactly how my body is responding to both my diet and my fitness level. Depending on how my body is doing, I might need to make some changes. But as for right now, the balance is working just fine. 

It's eventually going to happen, the day you square off with another student to spar. Maybe you've been chomping at the bit to roll, or maybe you are terrified. Either way, after the slap and bump, most white belts fall into one of two categories: The Clinger, who grips on for dear life and tenses every muscle in their body so hard that getting out of their closed guard requires the the jaws of life, and The Spaz, who freaks out so hard they bullrush their opponent and pile them. Or they flail and kick as if tapping equates to death. For real. Straight streetfight. 

No one benefits from this, not you or your teammate. All it does is burn a shitload of energy going nowhere, or it gets you swept and armbarred, wondering what the fuck just happened. 

Whether you don't know what the hell to do, or you are afraid to lose, here are my tips for a successful roll as a white belt: 

Don't be afraid to ask for help or tap if you're uncomfortable

The very first thing to understand is you have to relax! You're a white belt, nobody expects slick moves out of you. Nearly no one in this world has a natural aptitude for this sport, so you can drop any pressure you may put on yourself to be good right off the bat. If you are confused, or unsure how to begin, ask your partner if they could teach you how to grip fight and get things started. Or ask if you can practice a guard pass. Any person at a reputable gym should be happy to oblige. 

Likewise, your opponent is not going to try to hurt you. Chokes and arm bars sound scary, but it isn't kosher to crank into them during a class sparring session. Your partner should be under control and mindful of your belt. If anything is uncomfortable, tap. You won't get hurt as long as you tap. There is virtually nothing to be afraid of or intimidated by when you know the "safe word." 

Try one basic move at a time

Pick one thing and try that. Did you drill a kimura? Try a kimura. If it doesn't work, reset yourself and try it again. There have been entire classes where all I did was roll on my back and try hooking my feet or working an open shin guard. I got smashed, eventually, (such is the risk with unhooked feet and an improper shin guard), but I also got good at framing my limbs and getting my hooks in! 

Keep at one thing or chain of things for a time and once you feel comfortable with the movements and applying them on a resistant opponent, move on to something else. This way, your muscle memory will learn something through repetition, instead of flying in 100 different directions and losing focus. One goal at a time will also calm your mind.   

LOSE, LOSE, and LOSE AGAIN.

In Jiu-Jitsu we have a saying, "You either win or you learn." As a white belt you learn a lot. Losing, repeatedly, to the same damn submission is the best way to learn how to defend it. Defense is half of jiu jitsu. You could be the sickest foot lock dude in your academy, but if you can't even protect your neck or your arms, you're worthless. 

How do you get out from side control or mount? How do you recover your arm and bust out of that triangle? If you don't learn how to feel your opponent's weight shift, you'll never know what's coming and understand how to counter. This is a really important time, so take your beatings! They are good for you. 

Position before submission

Sometimes, white belts roll in after watching too many YouTube videos and think they can pull off sick lapel chokes and obscure 10th Planet submissions without the foggiest clue of how to distribute their bodyweight or get into a position of control. 

If you are out of control, you do not have the submission, plain and simple. Understand that this shit takes time. As they say, everyone has to crawl before they can walk, and walk before they can dance, and dance before they can berimbolo. You are in this for the long haul, so be patient and learn the basics before trying moves above your paygrade. 

MOSt importantly, don't panic

Measure your success not in successful submission attempts, but how much less often you are getting submitted and RELAX! No one wants to get scratched by your flailing arms, kicked in the head by your roundhouse defense or jacked in the ribs by your 110% bulldozer attack. This isn't Mundials.

The less muscle you use, the less muscle your opponent will use and it won't seem so intense. Generally, the higher belt rolling with you will match strength and technique to your level. If you are loose and calm, they will remain loose and calm. Then, a magical thing happens - you can actually work technique instead of being locked in a fruitless death-grip for five minutes. 

just remember, a lot of those scary high belts are more afraid of you than you are of them, because the risk of injury rises when rolling with a freaked out white belt. Use that intimidation - then surprise them with your calm, cool collectedness. You will be well-liked by all, picked often for a warm up spar and welcomed into the rotation. 

I get a lot of questions about how to balance your fitness pursuits and be a parent. This is just a little rant about letting go of "parenthood perfection" and making sure you prioritize yourself!

The weather is getting colder, days are getting darker and your motivation might be waning - but these are the days you have to dig deep and work out! Every day you're able-bodied is a gift, not a guarantee. Take advantage! 

Contrary to unbaked internet theories of gluten intolerance, "inflammation," and a nebulous "toxic lifestyle," most cases of belly bloat can be attributed to a few simple things that are perfectly normal, even if they are perfectly annoying. 

I have always been a bloater. Even though my abdominal wall is as hard as a rock when I flex, my stomach still ends up looking "late first trimester-y" by the end of the day. Since I was also in the process of being tested for an egg allergy, I did some research and then sat down with my Doctor to talk about what my bloating could mean.

Chances are, It's farts

It's not glamorous, but the very first thing to consider is intestinal gas. In fact, most all cases of abdominal bloat are due to a buildup of gas from constipation, having a hard time digesting specific foods, or a sudden glut of fiber and inability to move it through your GI tract. 

How does gas build up? About half of it is from swallowing air. The air may get trapped in your intestines in between turds going nowhere slow, like a merge lane in rush hour. Constipation is a major culprit in this scenario. Women tend to be constipated because we neglect taking care of ourselves to take care of everyone else in the house - we aren't hydrated enough and often eat on the fly. We are also more stressed out about day to day bullshit that just doesn't seem to affect dudes as much. They're in the bathroom three times a day, with no bother. And if you're a mom, the moment you are finally able to sit on the toilet and relax your sphincter, something crashes in the next room and all your kids start screaming. Generally speaking, we are all "bound up" to varying degrees. 

Fiber is another cause. It is vital to maintain a healthy bowel, but it doesn't break down so much as it ferments, which creates gas. If fiber is moving through your bowel regularly, this buildup is minimal. If not, well, it's elastic-waisted pants for you. 

You may also have heard of FODMAPs if you've ever complained to your doctor about digestive distress. FODMAPs (Fermentable Oligo-Di-Monosaccharides and Polyols) are sugars in some foods that can be hard to digest. They draw water into the intestinal tract and sometimes cause bloating, diarrhea, constipation or cramps in people who are sensitive to them or eat them in excess.

Occasionally, It Could be Lady hormones

Bloating in predictable intervals around your menstrual cycle is very common. Not only do we retain some water, but hormones can actually affect digestion, making your system sluggish and retentive. Coupled with constipation (you can be constipated even if you don't "feel" constipated, btw), and the desire to eat comfort foods (high in salt, fat and carbohydrates) - it's a perfect storm for build up. 

Bloating is a very common and natural response to digestion. Unfortunately, it goes against our obsession with the "flat stomach" aesthetic. It doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong - we just hate the way it looks. 

So, what do we do about it? Can we reduce the bloating and put our skinny jeans back on? Good news, the answer is mostly yes. Obviously you won't lose belly fat, which is a completely unrelated issue, but there are things you can do to keep the pooch to a minimum: 

REDUCE GAS

Eat slower. Don't use straws. Ease back on carbonated drinks. Keep a diet journal and find out if specific foods are hard for your body to digest, then eliminate or cut back. Eat smaller meals, more often. If you are trying to add more fiber into your diet via raw vegetables, beans and whole grains, go slow! Ease into a high fiber diet, or it can be overwhelming. 

STAY REGULAR

That said, gas will happen. If for nothing else than you have to open your mouth to eat. Definitely keep plenty of fiber in your diet, but drink a lot of water to push it all through your system. Hydration is the key to making fiber work for you instead of against you. Exercise every day. Drink a cup of coffee. Add yogurt into your diet. De-stress and start taking care of yourself! I know, it's not a shake, a 10-minute ab blast, or a pill, but these are the fundamental changes you have to make to really see a difference. 

When you feel something is wrong

If your bloating is accompanied by cramps, diarrhea, sudden changes in stool, or nausea, you might have a food allergy, intolerance or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. See your doctor to get to the bottom of it. 

If you feel a fullness in your lower abdomen that does't wax and wane, but gets persistently worse over time, or is accompanied by changes in menstruation and nausea, this might signal ovarian or uterine issues. Again, see your doctor if the distension doesn't go up and down or becomes more uncomfortable over time. 

If there are simply no solid answers, you can try the Low FODMAP Diet to figure out your trigger foods. It is kind of a pain in the ass, as you have to be strict for six weeks and then slowly introduce foods/food groups one at a time to figure it out. But afterwards, you should know a lot more about your body!

Just remember, some bloating is normal, especially for us women. Even though Instagram is full of chiseled abs and itty-bitty waists, that isn't reality. Digestion happens, and it has no concern for your vanity. If you feel good, don't sweat it - if you feel nasty, or bogged-down, make some real changes to your diet and lifestyle. 

You asked some questions... I'm giving some answers! Up first, Steve says, "Talk supplements to me." Here is my advice to the fitness novice.